Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Sweet Valley High Fan Fiction Just Cause

For Sam
Jess heard sobbing in the bathroom.
'Liz?' She tapped on the door. 'Is that you?'
'Go away!'
'Not going to happen. Let me in, Liz. Is this about your fight with Todd?'
The door opened. Usually when Jessica Wakefield looked at her twin, it was like looking into a mirror, but today, Jess saw only Liz's blue-green eyes – the very colour of the Pacific Ocean – swimming with tears.
'Oh Jess, it's all my fault! I promised Enid I'd go to the pantsuit flash mob for Hillary–'
Jess wrinkled up her nose. 'Ew. I don't care what Hillary's politics are. I'm never voting for anyone who wears a pantsuit.'
'Oh Jess, you sound just like Steven.' The twins' brother Steven had worked on Bernie Sanders' campaign. When Bernie lost the Democratic primary, Steven had vowed never to vote for Hillary, even if it meant Trump won the election.
'Face it, Liz, lots of our friends voted for Trump.' Jess counted off on her fingers. 'The Patmores, the Fowlers, even the Egberts.'
Liz began to cry again.
'Sorry, sorry,' said Jess. 'You were saying about Enid and the pantsuits?'
'Well, I was all ready to go when Todd dropped by. He was really hurt and angry about me going. You know how he feels about feminism. I mean he believes in equal rights and everything. He just feels like feminism is, like, self-defeating. Anyway, he was all like, "and that pantsuit looks really ugly on you, Elizabeth" and then he left.'
Jessica gasped. 'How dare he? Everyone knows I can wear anything, even pantsuits! I mean, Liz, doesn't he know we dropped a whole dress size in the last reprint? Unless, Liz... you haven't been stress eating again?'
'Jess! Have you ever heard of feminism?' Liz rolled her eyes. 'Anyway, as you know perfectly well, I'm a perfect size 4. Blueberry muffins are your favourite breakfast remember, not mine.'
'So Todd left?'
'And, well, I just felt like I was betraying Todd. I was all ready to dance the routine, but at the last minute, I just knew I couldn't go through with it.'
'Haven't you heard of feminism?' asked Jess and laughed.
'Stop it. I mean feminism is important and everything, but this is Todd.' Liz looked at Jess pleadingly and Jess nodded. Todd and Liz had been together forever. Sometimes Jess even felt a little jealous of their deep connection, but then she remembered how fun it was to play the field. Who wanted to get tied down to just one guy?
'But what about Enid? I mean you guys go way back too.'
'I thought Enid would understand!' Liz sobbed. 'I tried to explain but she was with all her new intersectional-feminism friends and I knew they'd never get it! And now she's not returning my texts or my tweets. She didn't even comment on my facebook status where I compared the current political climate to the popular trend of dystopian Young Adult fiction.'
Jess shrugged. 'Oh, Liz, I hate to say it, but I think Enid's right. Chicks before dicks.'
'Oh Jess,' Liz began to cry again. 'This is the worst day of my life. I had a fight with Todd. Enid's not talking to me. Donald Trump's been voted president. And it's all my fault!'